Message to myself

It’s OK, read to the end. 🙂

I apologize for the huge absence.    I’m still working on posts slowly but I thought I’d update the blog on why I’ve been away.  (I have been posting a little on the facebook page if you’re a FB’er.)

I won’t be sad to see 2014 go.  It started out great.  A great trip to Willam’s Lake to teach.  Certification as a Brother technician for Sparrow Studioz.

The summer though….

The summer in particular was beyond “character building” for both Ryan and I.

In July, our roof sprung a leak.  I was sitting here, typing out a blog post in my office when suddenly the rain storm was in the house.  Water was sheeting down the inside of the window.


“Shingles” said Ryan when he got home and put a ladder up to the roof.  So we decimated the meager savings we had and I went out the next day to buy shingles and other materials required for the job and we got started that weekend. We skinned the roof and found it was more than shingles.

21 sheets of sheeting, 17 strips of drip cap, 10′ of face board, 3 rolls of ice and water shield, 4 rolls of tar paper, nearly 60 bags of shingles and 15 days of roof work in the hottest days of the year and we had a roof again.  Most days, I was on the roof for the day while Ryan was at work, then he’d come home and we’d work until dark.

Every joint and muscle in my body hurt.  We were both so tired from this job.   My knees still hurt.


We finished August 2nd.  Only eavestroughs to go.

Then the summer got worse.

I got a call on August 6th at just after 6pm.

Ryan had been hit on my motorcycle while stopped at a light.

In that split second, our lives changed.

He suffered severe damage to his leg.  Severe tissue lacerations all the way down to the bone.  54 external staples and stitches and hundreds inside to close the leg.   Fibula broken.  Tibula has a chip out of it.  Possible damage to the ACL ligament.

(Don’t worry, I won’t post those pics here.  I’m a former first aider and almost passed out when I saw the damage in the ER.)

Doctors weren’t forthcoming with any prognosis at all. He was in hospital for more than a week before he was sent home where I became his primary caregiver, negating work for all but my most patient clients.

Luckily “home care” changes his bandages because I hit the wall with that one during his first followup with the surgeon.  I didn’t pass out or throw up but it was close when they started trimming out dead tissue in front of me.

Ryan has another surgery this week.  An MRI in November to check on the ACL and depending on the outcome of this, possibly another surgery to repair that.

For the past 6 weeks, every time I look around the house, I see the things left undone that neither of us can do – Ryan because of injury and me because of strength, my bulged disks and hip problems or simply because I’m not 2 people.

The insurance company is NOT doing a lot to affirm my faith in human kind at this point.  The disability claim hasn’t even started paying out (but they continue to take all of their monthly payments) and at this point , I’m not to talk to the third party adjuster about the claim because I’m told all they apparently want to do is find a way to limit what they have to pay out and try to “trap” you into saying something you shouldn’t. The property adjuster is undervaluing my bike. They’re not returning calls.  They’re “overwhelmed” when I give them receipts and quotes for replacement value of the gear Ryan was wearing and the accessories on the bike.

Clearly they don’t know what a Business Analyst who worked for a motorcycle shop in her recent past can do when she’s pushed into a corner.  😉

At times like this, it’s really easy to get down, and I admit I’ve been struggling with that a lot.    The anger and hurt that comes with an accident like this – and the ensuing “crap” you have to deal with thanks to many people and agencies whose sole jobs seem to be to make it difficult for you to tap into the resources you’re supposed to have access to – can seem insurmountable.

To that end, I keep reminding myself that every day is getting better.  Ryan’s managing pain better.  Today he hurt less than he did yesterday.  And yesterday was better than the day before.  The next surgery will speed his healing up more.   Tomorrow will be a little more normal than today was.

Our neighbors and friends have been exceptional – from helping out with our animals, helping me unwind with bike rides or getting together for a meal, helping us pick “Blue” up from the shop and unloading him and helping to determine what parts he needs to be road worthy again.

At the end of the day, the most important thing is that Ryan is still here.  He will heal.  He will likely ride again.

My beautiful blue bike will be repaired.  We’re not sure at this point if we’re doing it or if the insurance company will be doing it but he will also be whole again.

"Blue" and Dita
“Blue” my 2002 Honda CB900f and my first bike “Dita” – a 1991 Suzuki Bandit 400 circa 2008 somewhere in BC.

To say I’ve been scatterbrained would be an understatement.  Luckily WordPress remembers everything I’ve ever told it that I wanted to tell you all so nothing will be lost, just delayed.

If I’m distant, please know that I will answer your emails and comments eventually.

I promise.

I’m not going to stop posting, I just need longer to process posts and well, more time to do almost everything these days.

I’m learning to be OK with that.  Perhaps that was my lesson to learn in all of this.


This post title: Melissa Etheridge – Message to Myself

12 thoughts on “Message to myself”

  1. Tammi, I’m so sorry this happened to you and Ryan. Relieved though, that he’s recovering. I never think about the fact that one can get hurt doing 0 mph. I’ve been absent from the internet/sewing “scene” for a long time, but I’ve thought of you.

    1. Thanks Sheila! Motorcyclists have a funny mentality too. We always think “Yeah, I could get hurt” but in our minds we think that it will be the result of something we did or failed to do. None of us ever thinks we’ll be rear-ended at a stop light, though in retrospect, it makes nothing but sense these days with the epidemic of distracted, ill equipped and irresponsible drivers on the road.

      How are you doing? Hopefully the absence was good/busy?

  2. Oh. My.
    We had one of those years recently to. Just – when you reach the end of your rope – tie a knot and hang on …
    One day at a time … in spite of all the other stuff, you still have Ryan, he is healing and the bike is fixable …

  3. Am so sorry to read this. But he is home. The physical therapy and the walking will be hard on you both. I hope he can get the help he needs and you the rest you will need to be there for him.

    1. Thank you! You are 100% correct. The most important part is that he’s home and things are slowly getting sorted out, despite the insurance company’s best efforts. We know now that he will have the support he needs to go through Physio and such and we will find more out about that tomorrow. The 2nd surgery went well and he’s starting to walk, albeit very awkwardly, again.

    1. Thanks Virginia! At this point, I could probably be a speaker on stress management! Ryan’s back home after the second surgery and they’re letting him walk on it now (or start to) so he’s making progress. Perhaps now I’ll start sleeping and get back into the studio to work off some more stress. 🙂

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